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Practicing Driving With Relatives

And Supporting Your Learner

According to the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA), it takes most people 45 hours of lessons PLUS 22 hours of practicing to learn how to drive. I absolutely encourage you to practice with mum and dad if it's at all possible. Naturally, I appreciate that's not possible for everyone, but if you can it really helps. Because there's no substitute for time behind the wheel. 2 hours (or more) a week with me is great, but remember that there's a 'forgetting curve' just as much as there's a 'learning curve'. Also, much as I'd like to, I cannot possibly arrange for every conceivable on-road situation to occur during your lessons.

                                                               So, how do you go about it?

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The Supervising Driver

In order to supervise a learner driver in England, you must be:

  • Over 21

  • Be qualified for the type of vehicle to be driven. For cars, that's category B.

  • Have held your full driving licence for at least 3 years.

 

Please make sure you have 'L' plates on, and buy a suction-cup mirror to stick on the windscreen, so that YOU know what's going on around you. They aren't expensive, but could save your life. 

 

Now, it can be a bit scary. I get it.

I have dual controls, and you don't.

You probably don't have 24 years of training, and experience of sitting on the other side of the car either. And your learner is used to my car, not yours.​

That's why it's best to take 'baby steps' to begin with, staying a step or two behind what they are doing with me on lessons.

 

For example, when your learner is happily driving up and down the Limpsfield Road or Caterham High Street with me, perhaps take them to one of the local 'nursery slopes' housing estates. To let them get that first feel of a different car, and not run into too many scary situations that they can't yet be expected to manage.

If you're not sure of places to go, drop me a line, and I'll happily tell you where we usually go.

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Best if you drive them home the first couple of times, so that you don't get any surprises on the way back.

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When they've driven off to West Wickham or Redhill a few times with me, now maybe let them do that simple route back home from the 'nursery slopes', with a 'Plan 'B' escape route in mind, and at a quiet time of day.

With the right amount of verbal help and encouragement, because remember you don't have dual controls if she or he freezes when that tipper lorry hurtles the other way!

It's definitely still not time to tackle a bendy, narrow country road, or the Caterham bypass yet.

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Eventually, you'll naturally catch up with what we are doing on lessons, and they will start to need a little less verbal help. But keep those glasses on, and your phone off, because you are still legally in charge.

And it's at this point, if you relax and take your eye off the ball, that they or somebody else will do something completely out of left-field that you'll need to be ready for. 

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While you do need to make them aware of any big problems, and coach them appropriately, try not to worry TOO much about crossing hands, or what 'coasting' is, as long as the car is under control.

That sort of thing is my job to work with them on, and it's their responsibility to make sure they aren't ingraining any 'bad habits' that they have discussed with me in lessons.

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Please DON'T practice the emergency stop, it's easy to get wrong, and dangerous if you do. Leave that one to me.

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And definitely DON'T go on the motorway. That's still illegal for learners unless they're in a dual controlled car with a qualified ADI (me).

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But please DO practice reversing with them. At this stage, they are less likely to make a bad mistake, and at the low speeds of a reversing manoeuvre, a firm use of the word STOP is usually sufficient to avoid most problems. Just try to be considerate of other road users and residents as much as possible.

And if your learner isn't 'getting it' today, just move on and do something else. Let them have a chat to me, and we'll see what needs to be done, so that you can try again another day. It may be as simple as a difference in the steering geometry between my car and yours.

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Above all else, communicate with me! If I don't know there's been an issue, I can't help with it. But I'm always happy to give advice if it will help my learner.

I do quite like them, you know, and I hate to hear that they've got upset over something that's often easily fixable.

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Click Here for the DVSA webpage about learning with family or friends

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Need L plates or a suction mirror? Halfords will have them.

The Learner

In order to learn to drive on a public road in England, you must be:

  • Over 17 (16 if you have a mobility exemption)

  • Hold a relevant UK provisional driving licence

  • Accompanied by an ADI or a suitable full licence holder

  • Properly insured as a learner to drive the vehicle

  • Displaying 'L' plates front and back of the vehicle

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You need to have reasonable expectations here, of yourself, of your accompanying driver, and of the car.​

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Remember that you're used to getting coaching from me at appropriate moments to avoid problems with other road users, and that I know my car REALLY well.

You can't really expect to get everything right straight away in a different car, just because you've been through it with me. It's a lot to remember.

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Just doing the cockpit drill, you'll likely find some of the adjustment controls are a bit different. Some of the ancillary controls might be in different places, or work differently.

Is the indicator switch on the same side? Does the parking brake work the same way?

Take some time to get familiar with how it all works.

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Even two cars of the same make and model can feel quite different when it comes to things like the position of the clutch biting point, or how powerful the brakes and gas feel.

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If your car is a little bit older, it might have a few quirks that you'll learn to live with.

Often, as a clutch wears, the apparent position of 'biting point' appears to migrate upwards. So it might mean you have to raise your foot more until you feel it.

Also, as suspension and steering components wear, the general steering and handling can feel a bit less sharp and precise.

And a smaller car can often feel a little more bumpy over road imperfections compared to a larger car.

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You might then feel that my car now feels a bit strange, especially if you have driven yours frequently, or very recently.

But stick with it. It'll take a few occasions of swapping from one car to another in order to get used to doing that, but you'll be a better driver overall for having experienced more than one car.

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You have to be a bit mad to be a driving instructor. Who else would get into a car with someone who doesn't know how to drive?

So, now think about the person sitting next to you. It's quite reasonable for them to be feeling every bit as nervous as you probably do.

Don't expect mum or dad to pick up every missed mirror check, or if you're 'coasting'. It's your responsibility to try to make sure you're practicing things in the way we've done them on lessons, and that you're not actually compounding any 'bad habits'.

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You need to make sure that you are both comfortable with what you are going to practice today, and any routes you have in mind. Don't feel pushed into doing something you're not ready for. But equally, don't pressure mum or dad to take you on a 60 mph country road if that's out of their comfort zone. Remember there's no dual controls to get you out of a mess if you get yourself into one.

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And definitely DON'T go on the motorway. That's still illegal for learners unless you're in a dual controlled car with a qualified ADI (me).

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With the reversing manoeuvres, although the basic principles I'll have taught you will hold true, they can be frustratingly different in another car. For instance, you might need to use a little more (or a little less) steering in your parallel park, when compared to my car. You might have to make different reference points for your bay park, especially if your car doesn't have back doors like mine does.

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If it's just not going to plan, it's probably best to leave it rather than getting all frustrated. Come and have a chat to me, and we'll look at ways to help you. Hopefully you'll get it next time you practice.

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